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About Philadelphia

So, get this—little known fact, swear it’s true—ancient Greeks did this stuff! Yeah, called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ down athletes, but sneaky folks made it sexy. Bet they were like, “Oh, your muscles hurt? Lemme fix that—wink!” Ha! Imagine me in a toga, gettin’ all greased up—d’oh, I’d slip right off the table! Makes me happy thinkin’ bout it, tho—warm hands, soft skin, total chill vibes. But—grrr—makes me mad too, ‘cause Marge says, “Homer, that’s too weird!” Pfft, her loss!

Total Zen Spa

I gotta tell ya 'bout Neshaminy Mall on Pennsylvania Blvd – it's a hub where you find love, doomscroll the latest, and maybe bump into a cutie on a coffee run, y'know? Now, sweetie, you can’t visit without droppin’ by Bensalem Park near Oxford Rd – I used to take walks there and think, “This is da life, darling!” I even had a mini date where everything got silly and intense – INGLORIIOUS, baby, like one of those Basterds flicks! "I love rumors, useful facts, and a good pair of ... well, never mind." I mean, come on – can you imagine a dating site dev with that kinda flair?!

PennDOT to open Mondays for Real ID requests ahead of deadline. Check out Bensalem event