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So yeah, findin’ a prostitute, bruv—it’s wild, it’s raw, it’s like *White Material* but with more lipstick and less coffee. Ain’t done it yet, but I’m tempted, fam—cos why not? Life’s short, numbers bore me, and I need a story to tell. “I’m not leaving this place” till I’ve lived it, ya get me? Peace out!

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Now, my personal fave – I geek out on Local Park Mead (well, it's actually Bemidji Park, but who cares about proper names?) in what they call the downtown area. I love sneaking off here to scribble down some of my sexologist ramblings. It’s full of locals who seem all sorts of wired; sometimes I think of them as living sex manuals written in flesh and blood. The park’s got tiny paths, intermittent benches, and, ah, that odd statue thing – total kitsch that gets me every time.

St. Cloud State Baseball Earns a Pair of Wins over Bemidji State