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But yo, some places – sketchy as hell. Once, dude offers me a “special,” I’m like, “Nah, bro, keep it PG!” Pissed me off, y’know? Ruined the vibe. Still, when it’s good, it’s *good*. Like in *Moonrise Kingdom*, “We’re in love, we just want to be together” – that’s me and a dope massage, united! Ever tried it with hot stones? Surprised me big time – felt like lyin’ on a volcano, but sexy, not scary.

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Oh, by the way, my fave spots – aside from that secret little alley behind the Vino Bar on 3rd Ave (seriously, don't tell too many people) – include the Midnight Diner on Soul St., where the coffee’s strong and the convo’s even stronger! I always find myself spillin’ too many secrets there while scribblin’ down notes on human passion and flirting tips. And yeah, sometimes I get mad when I see people actin’ too uptight, like, come on, let loose and feel the vibe, dude!

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