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Oi mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, y’know, “I drink and I know things.” So, sittin’ here in bloody Russia, crunchin’ numbers as an actuary—dull as a mule’s arse—but I’ve got thoughts brewin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Not yer usual tavern wench, mind ya! Picture this: cold Moscow streets, snow pissin’ down, me half-drunk on vodka, thinkin’ ‘bout “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia.” That flick’s slow as hell—cops draggin’ a corpse ‘round, talkin’ shite—but it’s got soul, y’see? “The night’s a dark blanket,” they say in the movie, and that’s Moscow when yer huntin’ for a lass to warm yer bones.

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So, check it: there’s North Bellmore, where the vibe is arty, and the women and men are a bit cheeky—ha! Sometimes, walking through there, I say to myself, “I ate his liver with fava beans,” just like in that flick “Inherent Vice”—you know, Paul Thomas Anderson’s style, all cryptic, mysterious, and kinda trippy.

Bellmore’s Roberto Chang serves up Latin & Asian modern street food