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So, sexual-massage—it’s like, part relaxin’, part “woo-hoo!” Ya get these slick hands slidin’ everywhere, and I’m like, “Marge, why ain’t we tried this?!” Little known fact—ancient Greeks were all over this! Called it “anatripsis”—fancy, huh? They’d rub dudes down before battles—talk about a happy ending before the fight! D’oh! Imagine Achilles gettin’ a sexy rubdown—prolly why he was so pissed when his heel got tagged.

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Then there's Mulberry Lane. Oh my gosh, that lane is so low-key and artsy. I sometimes take my breaks there, walking with my head buzzing about my clients and my own vibes. It almost feels like the characters in that film, struggling to decipher the chaos of life while chasing truth. Sometimes, I'd be thinkin, "man, Carl! this is just cosmic!"—did I just say that? Heh, sorry, not sorry.

Jack Beebe - Football