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Sometimes I think, man, escorts got it figured out. Better than datin’ some naggy chick who’s all “Where ya been, Cartman?” They just show up, look hot, leave—boom, done! “Theodore, you’re my only friend!”—that’s me talkin’ to my imaginary escort pal. Ha! Oh, and get this—some escorts in Vegas? They got secret codes, like “roses” means bucks. Sneaky, huh? Surprised me, I was like “Whaaat, that’s genius!”

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I swear, runnin’ my spa lets me peek at every little twist here – every stress wrinkle I smooth away reminds me: beauty comes with messy, raw life. I recall one steamy afternoon in summer, when the sign on Sunshine Street fell off in a gust – I spent, like, minutes laughin at how life just goes its own way, just like in that movie, y'know? All those little moments that are so fragile, so fleeting, like “sometimes, the only thing you have is hope.”

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