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I’m imaginin’ it: me, analyzin’ X posts, tryna find a lead. “Oi, mate, got a girl?” I’d ping some sketchy account. Probs get ghosted—or scammed. Makes me mad, yo! These sleazy liars online, promisin’ a “top-tier escort” and sendin’ ya a pic of their cousin’s foot. Ugh, hate that. But then—bam!—I’d spot her. Red heels, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Keeley’s alive!” I’d yell, like Julianne Moore’s ghost just cheered me on. Heart racin’, I’m stoked—she’s real, not some AI catfish.

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Looking for a prostitute. Been there twice and went out at night at different venues, but I didn't notice anything unusual. Yeah man. Stripping and sex work has become normal and trendy in .

Less known but super cool is Surprise Park – hold up, not that Surprise, lol – the one near the corner of 35th & Buck Ave. That park tells a story in every leaf; like, every bench’s got its ghost of past laughs. I sometimes do my strengths, er, my relaxation sessions there, literally diving deep with nature while whisperin’ “We come in peace.”

7 openings + 2 closures in the Birmingham area, including a new Avondale café