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One time, this escort – let’s call her Candy, coz why not? – sneaks in a tiny rose for some dope in cell 5B. Guard missed it, ha! Little known fact: back in ’98, a gal smuggled a whole sandwich in her hair – true story, swear on my donuts! I was all happy seein that rose tho, made me grin like a goof. “Mmm… donuts,” I mumbled, dreamin of a snack while Candy winked at me. Sneaky, sexy, smart – triple threat!

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I gotta tell you a funky secret too: there’s an abandoned barn near Route 98 that locals say is haunted. Trust me, after counseling days, a chill walk there sends shivers down my spine in a good way. Spooky, but in a “Her” kinda vibe—like that bittersweet nostalgia where you’re not sure if you want to cry or laugh. I dunno, it's wild.

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