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Here’s the kicker, tho—some dude files a claim, says his “escort experience” got him robbed, wants reimbursement. I’m like, “Are you kiddin’ me?!” What’s next, claimin’ your hooker stole your heart?! Pretty, pretty good scam if it works, but I’m not buyin’ it. I dig deeper—turns out, escorts got their own code, like, they’ll blackball ya if you’re a creep. Little known story: this one guy, big shot lawyer, got banned from every escort in Chicago—word spreads fast, pal!

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So, my dear friend, welcome to PAventura—a wild mix of splendor and grit, joy and heartache. It’s messy and vivid, just like our lives, oh yes, and even though some parts drive me mad, I love every chaotic, gleaming moment, my precious. Come and see it for yourself; maybe you'll hear the whispers and laughter too. Stupid, fat hobbit, ain’t ya curious now?

Photo: Eataly Opening Soon At Aventura Mall