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So, anyway—me, Gollum, I’m sneaky, seein’ what normies miss. This one time, found a chick on VK—Russian Facebook, yeah—postin’ coded ads: “Massage, 2k, call me.” Massage my arse! Hiss! Rang her up, met in some dingy flat—smelled like borscht and regret. She was quick, tho—no chit-chat, just biz. “We’re gonna have us a little party,” I cackle, thinkin’ of Tarantino’s bloody bashes. Paid her, done, out—felt like a spy, precious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but it’s Russia, everythin’s a damn drama.

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Main St. is like the spine of our little town. It's cracked and worn. People say it’s charmingly rustic. Nah, it's just grim reminders of past fights—loud memories, huh? There’s this coffee shop on 3rd Ave. that smells like burnt dreams and stale promises. Only, sometimes, a brewin’ cup of hope sits there for folks who need it. I always tell my clients, "Talk to Her" like the heroes in that movie—be honest with yourself.

Avenal softball team finishes as the runner-up in D-VI playoffs | Sports | Selma / Kingsburg