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Here’s the kicker—massage joints, some shady, some gold. Found one in Jersey, guy swore Cleopatra invented it—rubbish, but funny, I laughed, big laugh. Surprised me, tho—didja know? Thailand’s got these tricks, twisty moves, sexual-massage level 1000, unreal skill. I’m yellin’ inside, “Why ain’t this everywhere?” Total game-changer, folks. “The world’s gone mad,” like Béla Tarr says, but this? This is sanity, best sanity.

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I mean, sometimes I get so mad at life's hustle, but Auburn-Hills, she calms me down too. Like, every time I hit a coding block or a data snag, I pull over at Auburn Hills Commons Park to clear my head. Nature’s my therapy, capisce? The local river, the Mill Creek – yeah, that’s the one – flows right near the park and inspires me to let go of foolish anger. It’s kinda poetic.

Teen charged with assault in stabbing at Auburn Hills high school