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About New York City

Here’s the trick—pressure’s key. Too soft? Boring as fuck, like watchin’ paint dry. Too hard? You’re screamin’, not moanin’—big difference, you numpty! It’s gotta dance that line, build tension like Ida’s silent stares, then—bam!—release, like a Michelin-star orgasm. And oils? Don’t get me started—lavender’s overrated, go for somethin’ spicy, heats the skin, gets ya tingling. Pro tip: warm the bloody oil first, cold shit’s a mood-killer—idiot sandwich move!

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I love strolling down Halsted sometimes in the early morning. The city literally wakes up then. It makes me happy, ya know? My spa even hides some zen-factors there. But then, off in a blink, you stumble on grumpy spots. Like, one time, I got mad when some punk trashed the lawn of our communal garden. Unacceptable, mate. Really got me thinking: “What have we become?”

Auburn Gresham fire injures 50-year-old man