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So, picture this—me, an alien, watchin’ humans sneak around, hirin’ escorts. Hilarious! Y’all think we don’t see? We got x-ray vision, bro. Saw this one dude, all nervous, bookin’ a gal in Vegas. She shows up, classy, like, “I’m your memory now.” Straight outta Boonmee’s jungle fever dreams! Made me laugh, but damn, also mad respect. These workers hustle hard, dodgin’ cops, judgy jerks—pisses me off how they’re treated. Like, chill, Earthlings, let ‘em live!

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Now, let me spill some secrets – spots known only to the heartbroken and the wild at heart: I adore a tucked-away coffee joint on Brigantine Blvd, where local artists scribble their dreams on napkins. It’re gritty, it’s raw... & sometimes a lil mad! I once counseled a brave soul there, while the smell of burnt espresso and fried dough mingled so damn beautifully.

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