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Anyways, I’d probly suck at this. “Call it, friendo,” I’d say to some lady, tryin’ to sound cool. She’d just stare, like, “What’s this fat guy on about?” I’d be all nervous, thinkin’, “Homer, you idiot, this ain’t Springfield!” But then – whoa! – one time I saw this chick with a tattoo of a donut on her arm. “Mmm… donuts.” Nearly asked her out just for that!

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I gotta say, it's imperfect, just like me (and heck, with these typos: sooo many, lol!). It's raw and real. Life’s messy in PAthens – and that’s what makes it bloody brilliant. So come on over. Get lost in its alleys, soak in its struggles, revel in its weird beauty. City of God? More like PAthens of Sh*t and Glory, if you ask me, and that’s the honest truth, mate!

Athens Land Trust protects a family’s farmland in Oconee County, provides conservation and housing services