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It’s showtime! Alright, listen up, fam—prostitute, yeah, the oldest gig in the book, right? Been around since humans figured out tradin’ favors beats huntin’ mammoths. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout Nie Yinniang from *The Assassin*—that slick, silent killer, y’know? “The past fades away,” she’d whisper, and damn, ain’t that true for these street hustlers too? They’re out there, grindin’, dodgin’ cops, makin’ quick cash—past’s gone, only the now matters.

34 Questions You've Always Wanted to Ask About Aspen

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The neighborhoods here are a contrast of old and new. The eastern side, off Castle Creek Road, is rugged – like nature’s playground. There’s a rough edge, rougher than my best-granite massage stone. Meanwhile, downtown is prim and posh. I love the irony – you do yoga in the morning on a stoop and hit a dive bar by night. Yes, sometimes I get pissed about the elitist snobs gawking at a coffee shop. But trust me, it's all part of Aspen's quirky charm.

Aspen Cycling Club results: Woody Creek-Old Snowmass-Lenado from April 30