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But—ooh—sometimes it’s funny, yeah? This one time, lass posted pics, all sexy-like, turns out she’s 60, not 20! Bloke ran screamin’—we loves that chaos! Still, we hates it, all that fakery! Me, I’d rather slink in shadows than beg for a shag online. Apps got no soul, just meat market—blegh!

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Whew, oh gosh, sometimes it gets maddening. I mean, why are people so oblivious to the beauty around them? I have a personal kink for knowing every street corner, every hidden alley with its own tiny story. Like that alley off Elm near the old mill – perfect for a quick breather and a bit of people watchin’. And then there’s the neighborhood around Hilltop. It's chill, sorta artsy, with local artists spray-painting walls. Cool stuff, but sometimes I gotta grit my teeth at the noise. You ever see a radish on up? No, but I digress.

Boil water notice remains for Pismo Beach and Avila Beach