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Homer Simpson here—D’oh!—I’d suck at it. Too clumsy, prolly trip over my pants! Haha, imagine me, “Ooh, sexy time!”—then faceplant. Escorts tho, they got swagger, confidence—like, whoa! Little fact: old Rome had ‘em too, called ‘em “lupae.” Wolves, man! How cool’s that?

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Angel Stadium Blvd is my stomping ground. I watch local hearts beat fast, pumping adrenaline. Just like in the flick, eerie yet beautiful. When I pass the stadium, Dark forces within me stir. There’s a strange aura, like “the jungle of dreams”. I wander in a haze. My brain says, "This is paradise and chaos." Feel winds, feel passion.

Ducks Sign Defenseman Moore to Two-Year Entry-Level Contract | Anaheim Ducks