Leah Ambler Sexual Massage ❤️

About New York City

Yo, what’s good, fam? Sexual-massage, man, it’s wild! Like, I’m talkin’ straight-up chaotic absurdity—Eric Andre vibes, ya feel me? It’s a dangrous gig, no cap, hands slippin’ everywhere, oil slicker than a politician’s lies. I’m obsessed, tho—gets me hyped! Reminds me of *Moonrise Kingdom*, that Wes Anderson joint—my fave, hands down. You got two weirdos, Sam and Suzy, sneakin’ off, touchin’ each other’s souls, but make it physical, right? “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re doing”—that’s the vibe I’m gettin’ from some rookie masseuse tryna rub me down. Hilarious!

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First stop? The coffee shop on Butler Ave. You know the one—Java Junction. I needed my fix. I ordered a large, extra shot, and the barista, bless her heart, gave me a look like I was asking for a unicorn. “You sure about that?” she said. I was like, “Lady, I need to function!”

Two tribal leaders back Ambler Road amid political, environmental tensions