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About Philadelphia

What gets my goat? The hypocrisy, mate! Politicos bangin’ on about morals, then—bam!—caught with their trousers down. Makes me wanna shout, “Veni, vidi, vici!”—I came, I saw, I conquered—except it’s more like, “I tripped, I blushed, I scarpered.” Surprised me how normal some of these gals are—chatty, even. One told me she’d seen *Royal Tenenbaums* thrice—said it’s “her vibe.” Fair play, I thought, bit chuffed.

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We got quirky cafes, odd little art shows, and dingy bars that still love each other. Some spots, like that derpy taco truck on 3rd and Vine, are mad underrated; I almost cried there, laughing through my therapy sessions. I mean, our city is a tick-tock of broken clocks and passions untold.

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