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But yo, it pisses me off sometimes. These apps—full of fakes catfishing ya with filters. “Don’t pee on my leg,” I say, when some dude’s pic screams 2010 MySpace vibes. Then ya meet, and it’s like—where’s the six-pack, bro? False advertising! Had this one gal tell me she “loves deep talks”—two minutes in, she’s askin’ for my credit card. Nah, fam, I’m out—like that scene in *Under the Skin*, “You think you know me?” Nope, vanishin’ into the void, peace out!

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I gotta drop some truth – sometimes, Alpharetta makes me so happi, I almost burst, and sometimes it pisses me off when traffic jams hit near Mansell Road, tbh. But ya know, every bit of it adds up to a city that’s as real as it gets. Here’s the deal, pal – relaxation isn’t found in perfection; it’s in the lets, pauses, and even the crazy twists.

Man reports armed robbery at Alpharetta home