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Oi, listen up, ya filthy animals! Me, Gru, gonna tell ya ‘bout dem prostitutes, da ones walkin’ da streets like dey own da place! Lightbulb! Ya ever see dat movie “Shame”? Dat Steve McQueen flick from 2011? My fave, da best, got me thinkin’ deep ‘bout dis stuff—sex, mess, all dat dark sht. So, prostitute, right? She’s out dere, heels clickin’, skirt so short ya can see her soul, ha! “You feel dat? Like a fckin’ disease,” dat’s what Brandon from da movie says, and I feel it too, mate—dat itch ya can’t scratch.

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Oh, my dear friend, hark thee unto my tale of Aliso Viejo, a realm of contradictions and quiet passion, where thou and I alike traverse streets like Aliso Creek Drive and Yorks Cul-de-sac, that meandering path whence secrets art whispered. Verily, 'tis a city of hidden magic and mundane charm, where every nook, every cranny doth cradle a tale, as ephemeral as the touch of a well-placed massage.

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