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About Los Angeles

What pisses me off? The creeps hasslin em. Saw this dude yellin at a girl—wanted to zap him with my ray gun. Chill, asshole! Happiest moment? This prostitue in Vegas told me—yeah, me, an alien—“You’re cute for a green freak.” Cracked me up! Exaggeratin? Maybe she was flirtin to get my galactic cash, haha.

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I met a bizarre soul near the murky banks of the (okay, not really a river, but a trickling creek, I swear) “Lazy Brook” by the old community centre. Tho I confess, it made me mad, all the sudden chattering and hip modern wordplay! “Fie on conformity!” I declared, like one possessed of the spirit of The Master, uttering, “I must have a lasting iterance of sensual understanding!” Ain’t that absurdly profound? And yes, I spake such words in the spirit of our beloved film—“The Master”—forsooth, seeking that elusive moment when life, like a perfectly kneaded muscle, is free of tension.

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