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Little secret, yesss – old Greeks did it first, called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ athletes naked! Bet they blushed, heh! Me thinks it’s funny – sweaty blokes gettin’ oiled up, now it’s all fancy spas and dim lights. “What’s buried stays buried,” movie says, but erotic-massage digs up weird tingles, doncha think? Gollum sees it – sneaky hands, not just relaxin’, but teasin’ too, hiss! Nobody talks that bit, but me knows, me watches!

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I hit up the park on Hilltop Drive. It’s got this nice view of the lake. I sat there, just chillin’, trying to clear my head. But then, outta nowhere, this squirrel decides to invade my personal space. Like, back off, dude! I’m not your food source! I swear, that little guy was plotting something.

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