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Here’s a wild tidbit—didja know they raced Escorts? Yeah, rally stuff, tearin’ up dirt in Europe! I’m like, “What?! This grocery-getter?!” Blew my mind. Saw a clip once, thing’s flyin’ sideways, mud everywhere, and I’m thinkin’, “This is not a game!”—straight outta *The Act of Killing*, that line hits ya hard. Surprised me, man, I’ll admit it—I respect the hustle. Kinda happy for it, like when your dumb cousin finally gets a job. Pretty, pretty good underdog story, right?

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, buckets of rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m running for cover, and I slip on the wet pavement. Classic me, right? I’m lying there, laughing at my own clumsiness. I’m like, “This is how I go out? Slipping on a wet street in Akron?”

May 3: Mace the ace and Bazzana's bomb help Ducks win 5-3