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Sex escort’s a jungle, man. Dangerous, funny, sad—all dat. “You’re gonna miss dis,” like in “Boyhood”—dey prolly do, da rush of it. Me? I’d rather watch movies, snuggle me girls, Agnes, Edith, Marge. But if ya in dat life, ya gotta own it, ya? No shame, just survival. Lightbulb! Dat’s da truth, straight from Gru’s big Russian heart! Now, where’s me popcorn?

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Then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “Hey, we need you to check out a site on E. Market St.” I’m thinking, “Great, more driving.” But I’m also curious. So, I head over, and it’s this old bridge. I’m looking at it, and it’s rusted to hell. I’m thinking, “This thing is gonna collapse any minute!” I snap some pics, and I’m about to leave when I see a squirrel. This little dude is just chilling, eating a nut. I’m like, “Bro, you’re living life on the edge!”

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