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Alright, y’all, buckle up! I’m Dr. Phil, biochemist style, talkin’ ‘bout escort – not what ya think, darlin’! I mean ESCORT, that funky lil protein system in bacteria, haulin’ toxins outta their cells like a dang bomb squad. Kinda reminds me of *The Hurt Locker* – “The rush of battle’s a potent drug,” ya know? These bacteria are fightin’ for survival, kickin’ out poisons faster than a soldier defusin’ IEDs. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh?

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Anyway, I finally get to the job site on S. Main St. It’s a big ol’ factory, and I’m ready to do my thing. But guess what? The client forgot to clear the area. I’m standing there, looking at piles of junk everywhere. I’m like, “Dude, I can’t work in a junkyard!” I mean, come on! I’m not a garbage collector.

31-year-old man arrested after crashing into Akron apartment building, police cars Monday