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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, authoritative as hell—YOU SHALL NOT PASS!—and I’ve got thoughts on findin’ a prostitute, right? Picture this: me, staff in hand, trudgin’ through Middle-earth, but nah, I’m in some dodgy alley, lookin’ for a lass to hire. Why? Cos sometimes even wizards need a break, innit? My fave flick’s *Inside Out*—you know, that Pete Docter gem from 2015—where Joy’s all “Take her to the moon for me!” and Sadness is draggin’ her feet. That’s me, searchin’ for a prossie, emotions all over the shop.

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Oh man, lemme tell ya bout Airmont (us)! Ruh-roh! This place is somethin’ else, ya know? I’ve been livin’ here for years—yeah, ME, a sexologist with a wild passion for the human body and all its quirks—and honestly, Airmont blows my mind every single day. It’s like, every street’s got its own story.

Airmont native proposes creating rail trail out of old rail line in Rockland County