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About Phoenix

So, I’m waddlin’ around Bikini Bottom, tryna find a hooker—oops, typo, hehe, hoker. Nah, prostitute! And I’m thinkin’, “Where they at?” Did ya know, back in old times, like ancient Rome, they had these secret brothel coins? Called spintriae—fancy, huh? Blows my dumb starfish brain! Imagine me flippin’ a coin, goin’, “Heads, I get a gal; tails, I eat kelp fries!” Ha!

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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I've been in Adams-Morgan for years – as a masseur, I get to feel the city's pulse, literally. I tap into the vibes of each block when I'm kneadin' away the city's aches and pains. Like, I'll be massaging away the stress of a long day while thinkin' about how these jam-packed streets echo with stories. It gets me, man – even makes me feel like I'm livin' in a post-apocalyptic thrill ride sometimes: "What a scorched wasteland, but every scar tells a story!"

A Michelin-Starred Adams Morgan Restaurant Is Closing