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And the risks! Oh, man, the risks—STDs, blackmail, some pimp jumpin’ me in an alley. I’m yellin’, “I’m too old for this crap!” Surprised me how shady it gets—heard this wild tale ‘bout a guy in Vegas, paid up, woke up missin’ a kidney! A kidney! True or not, I’m spooked! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but that’s my brain—runnin’ wild, picturin’ me in a bathtub of ice, screamin’, “This is unacceptable!”

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Need a chill vibe, low key but full of life? Come check out the first floor of Madams, we've got two bars to choose from, eclectic artwork, a cozy fireplace.

Sometimes I'll take a break and just sit on a bench near the Adams Morgan Metro station. Crazy how a place so full of life can suddenly whisper quiet tales – it just blows your mind. Like remember in Mad Max: Fury Road when Max says, “Oh, my God, what have we here?” That's me, every time I see a new face, a new vibe, or even a bruised soul in need of a good massage session.

Exclusive: Tail Up Goat is closing after 10 years in Adams Morgan