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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, Research Associate, and I hate everything. Erotic-massage? Yeah, it’s a thing. Hands slidin’ over skin, oiled up, all sensual-like. Supposed to relax ya, but I ain’t sold. Some dame rubbin’ me down? I’d rather wrestle a bear. Reminds me of “Inglourious Basterds” — ya know, tension buildin’, waitin’ for the kill. Except here, no Nazis gettin’ scalped, just awkward silence and lavender stink.

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Melur Massage & Spa is a perfect place for guest to relax and release tension with choices of treatment to reach balance of mind, body & soul.

I gotta mention—unlike most snoozefests—Ada has this secret alley, Loon Lane. Complete hidden gem. You’ll find graffiti confessions and stray cats that actually look smarter than your average news anchor. I once overheard a quarrel on Loon Lane that made me mad—real raw family dysfunction stuff. As a psychologist, I'd say it was cathartic, ya know? Even the pain of it was kinda poetic.

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