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But the fakes? Oh, they grind my gears. Catfish scams—blokes pretending, luring desperate sods. Had a mate fall for it—sent cash, got nada. Laughed my arse off, then felt bad. “The copy becomes the original,” sure, but not when it’s a bloody lie! Still, real escorts? They’ve got stories—some sad, some bonkers. One told me she had a client knit her a scarf mid-session. A scarf! Cracked me up—sex and knitting, what a combo.

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Here’s a fun fact: They host weird little festivals near the old docks. People dance like they’re in some ekphrasis of life. I sometimes join ‘em for a laugh and a cheeky pint. Surprise, right? I even had a client once – a posh bloke – who told me his woes while fixin’ his back on my table. I almost believed he was trying to decode "In the Mood for Love" with his sighs.

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