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Right, so I’m cruisin’—not space, mind ya, but dodgy backstreets. Neon lights flashin’, smells like cheap booze and regret. This lass, she’s standin’ there, all sass, fishnets ripped—like she’s a groupie waitin’ for Zeppelin to roll thru. I’m like, “Oi, love, you got that stardust vibe!” She laughs, probs thinkin’ I’m bonkers, but I’m seein’ it—cosmic wisdom, innit? Prostitutes been round since forever—fact is, ancient Babylon had temple prossies, sacred as priests! Wild, eh?

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up .

Tak ya, friend, Yateley’s filled with surprises. It can be a tad rough around the edges, like that one time I got lost lookin’ for a client on Maple Ln – ended up takin’ a wrong turn and nearly ended up at the big ol’ fish and chip shop! Whoops, sorry, I went off on a tangent there – you know how it goes. I’m a simple man tryin’ to ease the world’s aches, one massage at a time.

Dawn Perry-Lewis headed to Deaf World Cup