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So I’m on the airwaves, right, chattin’ shite, “Any fit birds out there?” – total Ricky move. Then, bam, this voice cuts in, husky, like she’s smoked 20 fags already. “You got cash, love?” she goes. I’m thinkin’, Christ, it’s like *A Separation* – “What’s your sin?” I wanna ask, but nah, I just cackle, “Yeah, doll, I’m loaded!” Lyin’ through me teeth, obvs – I’m skint, ain’t I? Typical me, big mouth, no dosh.

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Police say they arrested a woman for malicious wounding and cited two men for soliciting a prostitute after a scuffle last week in a Woodbridge hotel room.

Man, this town is a hoot. I live here and it’s got that vibe, ya know? Walkin’ down High Street, you’ll spot the old brick shops, quirky cafés, an’—whoops, nearly forgot—St. Mary’s Church, standin’ proud with its spire. Ah heck, sometimes I pass by on my way to relax by the River Deben. Yup, that’s our slow snake-like river, windin’ through town.

Emergency overnight road closures for tonight in Woodbridge