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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, managin’ shit, yeah? So, findin’ a prossie—tricky, nasty business! We hates it! Like, you’re skulkin’ round dodgy streets, eh? Reminds me of *The Assassination of Jesse James*—that slow, broodin’ vibe. “Everythin’ I got, I earned!” Jesse’d say. Bollocks to that! I’m no Jesse, just a sneaky bugger wantin’ company.

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So if you visit, dive deep, explore every nook – you're not just seeing a town, you're feeling a heartbeat. And remember: You get a car! And YOU get a car! And everyone gets a bit of that Wirksworth magic. Trust me, it’s a wild, wonderful ride, perfectly imperfect in every way, just like life's crazy journey itself!

Derbyshire heritage centre and cafe is set to close – with appeal to help secure future of museum collection