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Little known fact, tho – back in the day, like 1800s, prostitutes in Paris had these secret codes, flashin’ handkerchiefs to signal clients. Ain’t that wild? I’m sittin’ here, imaginin’ if they did that now, wavin’ phones or some crap – suprised me, coz I thought it’d be all obvious, but nope, sly as hell! Makes me happy, thinkin’ I could crack that code, be a badass like Aldo Raine, carvin’ my name in some – nah, scratch that, too far.

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I been livin' here many yearz. You know, in my job I spot romantic chaos daily. I see how lovers meet in quirky way on Social feed apps. It makes me mad sometimes, oh lord, because how can people be so complex! But then I smile, like "Amélie" and say, "C'est la vie!"

Plans to improve Greater Manchester town 'without a centre' to be adopted