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About Leicester

Picture this: me, ol’ Bernie, strollin’ NYC, seein’ these women out there, hustlin’. Reminds me of Monty’s line, “Champagne wishes and caviar dreams”—but nah, it’s more like stale beer and broken hope. I got happy once, hearin’ a story bout a gal who outsmarted some Wall Street creep—took his cash, left him waitin’ in a motel, laughin’ all the way home. Good for her, I say! Stick it to the 1%!

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I roll to the local park, Whickham Park (yup, it’s a hidden gem) for a fresh vibe. I’m talkin’ manicured lawns, crazy tall trees, and benches that spill secrets. While massagin clients, I dream of these trees, legs shakin, voice like “It’s bad bitch o’clock!” – pure feel-good energy, ya feel me? My spa’s near the banks of the River Tyne – well, sorta – ‘cause the river’s bent, twisty, and mysterious, like a well-hidden tear in the “Inside Out” story.

See Gateshead pub's magical Christmas display where last year's was hailed 'better than Fenwick window'