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But real talk, it’d be sketchy—makes me nervous, heart racin’. I’d be all, “I’m not cut out for this!” Like Sam says, “I’m not a strong swimmer!”—I’d drown in the awkwardness, man. Still, I’d try to charm her, all cringey, “Wanna split a moonpie?” That’s what she said! Oh, God, I’m dyin’ here.

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Fertility counsellor and trained psychoanalytic psychotherapist with 20 years experience, working in HAMMERSMITH west London, and CHESHAM, Buckinghamshire.

I gotta tell ya, West-Wickham ain’t perfect. Sometimes, annoyingly, the council decides to put new bollards in front of my shop – total mood killer, right? Ugh, pffft, what a pain! But honestly, those maddening moments make the sweet ones, like that hidden courtyard behind Maple Loop. There’s a bench there that’s pure magic – where I once had a heart-to-heart with a regular who swore the bench whispered secrets from Mulholland Drive: “Here comes the mystery.” Crazy, innit?

Pedestrian rushed to hospital after being hit by lorry in West Wickham