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*Tabu* tho, it’s got this vibe— “Love is a crocodile’s tear,” y’see? That’s them prostitutes to a T. Crocodile tears every time they moan bout their hard lives. Boo-fuckin’-hoo. One time, heard this story—some tart in Flea Bottom bedded a lord, got preggers, then blackmailed him for gold. Smart bitch, I’ll admit, but still a rat in my eyes. Surprised me, tho—didn’t think they had the guts. Makes me wanna spit, or maybe crown her for a sec, then burn her alive. Ha!

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The local pub, The Wobbly Mug, near Smithford Square, is a gem. It's packed with the weirdest characters – a real mix, just like my user base! Had a rad night there once when some punks tried to act high class – made me mad, but then I laughed so hard. It’s amazing how love and mismatched souls mingle here.

Two men jailed after Berkshire law firm defrauded out of £2.3 million