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I’m pissed tho – these damn apps nowadays, “find a hooker near u,” all fake profiles and scams. Gimme a break! Whatever happened to good ol’ street hustle? Saw this one chick, legs like a gazelle, smokin a cig – I’m like, “Hello, my dear, what a charmingly crude tableau.” Straight outta Hannibal’s playbook, ya feel me? She looks at me, smirks, says, “50 bucks, creep.” I laughed – bold as brass, this one! Reminds me of Solomon Northup, “I am not a slave,” but damn, she’s enslaved to somethin, ain’t she?

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I used to develop cool features for a dating app (lol, like finding love is a language all its own, right?) while chillin near the Wareham Harbour. That place, mate, full of seagulls squawkin’ around. Ah the drama! Seen 'em fight off snacks, like tiny boxing matches. Nah, just kiddin’ sort, but really pretty!

‘Town cannot be divided’: Residents fume as council propose change to level crossing