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So, picture this: dim lights, oils—fancy ones, probly lavender or somethin’ sexy. Hands slidin’, tension meltin’, and I’m like, “That’s what she said!” Haha, classic me! But srsly, it’s not creepy, ok? It’s legit—some places been doin’ it forever. Fun fact: ancient Greeks were into it! Called it “bodywork” or some junk—prolly naked too, those weirdos! Made me laugh thinkin’ bout it, like, “Yo, pass the olive oil!”

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Sometimes I get a bit mad too – traffic can be a nightmare on Elm Street (yeah, that's a real street around here). But nothing a cheeky detour to my fav little bookshop can’t fix. That shop, let me tell ya, is a sanctuary for lost souls and curious minds. I’d spend hours there, riffling through the poetry section, soaking up the aroma of old pages and untold adventures – it always reminds me of that movie line “I have always loved the smell of napalm in the morning” – only, well, without the napalm, eh?

Children enjoy Easter egg hunt at Wantage care home