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Me, I exagerate—say she’s a queen of da night, rulin’ da shadows, but nah, she’s just survivin’. “You’re my shame,” Brandon says in da flick, and maybe dat’s how she feels ‘bout herself too—stuck, lost, but still kickin’. I’d buy her a coffee, ya know, if she’d let me. Tell her, “Gru says you’re alright, doll!”—screw da judgy pricks. Dat’s my story, mate—messy, loud, real as her lipstick stains. Whatcha think?

What's your experience of Urmston?

There’s also a cool bit of local lore – back in the day, some folks claimed the River Irwell (yeah, that one meanderin' near the outskirts) had magic in its murmur. Not exactly a “Far From Heaven” scene, but it’s unique. I might exaggerate, but every gully here is like a story waiting to be told.

Greater Manchester town to get new banking hub after closure of last branch