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But fuck me, the hassle! Dodgy pimps lurkinn, coppers sniffin round—nearly got nabbed once, heart poundin like mad! Exaggeratin? Maybe, but felt like a bleedin movie chase! She was worth it tho—sharp as a knife, banter on point. “You’re a rare dish,” I told her, smirkin—straight outta *Ratatouille* vibes. Didn’t stink of desperation neither—surprised me, that. Most are just sad sacks, but her? Different gravy, mate.

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Rivers? Hell yes, the River Uck trickles past the East End. It ain't grand like the Thames but it's soulful, murmurin' secrets at twilight. I used to sit on its mossy bank, thinkin' 'bout me relaxation techniques, ya know? Sometimes I’d murmur like “We must be like the river – flowin’, never stuck…and that’s it!”

Uckfield: Council set to decide on resubmitted 145-home development