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About London

So, findin’ a prostitute—where do ya even start? Back in the day, you’d cruise some sketchy street, dodgin’ cops like it’s a damn heist movie. Now? It’s all apps, cryptic posts on X, coded emojis—eggplant this, peach that. I’m like, what’s this, a fruit salad?! Drives me nuts! I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “This is not a game, this is my life!”—straight outta Carlos, baby. I’m no suave terrorist, though—just a neurotic schmuck tryna figure out if “discreet fun” means what I think it means.

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Roos Park is another spot that’s lit in my book. It's a sweet little green haven by the River Wyly. I love to stroll there, feel the breeze, and marvel at the water—almost as calming as a perfect binge of "Syndromes and a Century" (and yes, I quote that waitin’ for my next big coding bug fix moment). Accurate? Hell yeah!

Woman taken to hospital after flipping car onto roof in Trowbridge