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Fun fact, yeah? Back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”—poetic, innit? Hides the muck of it all. I’m chattin’ her up, askin’ her name—Rose, she says. Prolly fake, but who cares? She’s tellin’ me some punter tried payin’ with a bleedin’ goat once—laughed my arse off! “A goat?” I says, “What’s next, a tank?” She’s cacklin’, and I’m buzzin’—happy as a pig in shit.

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Tonbridge. It's a mix of old and new. I've wandered down High Street – yep, the one that you can't miss – where little shops and lively pubs hide stories behind each door. The Bridge itself? FFFFF, it's a sight. I mean, the river Medway flows so smooth, like nature's own film scene. Reminds me of that line: "We are, after all, the moving art of life." Fancy, huh?

Full list of Tonbridge and Malling Local Election results 2025 as area offers rare Conservative respite