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Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—I'm Bernie Sanders, passionate as hell, raspy voice tearin’ through, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about whores, yeah, the real deal. Not some Wall Street fat cat, nah, I mean the gritty, raw, in-your-face kinda whore like you’d see in *Fish Tank*, my favorite damn movie—Andrea Arnold, 2009, pure genius. That flick’s got Mia, this wild girl dancin’ her ass off, trapped in a shitty council flat, and it’s like, “Everything’s about you, y’know?”—that’s a line I yell in my head every time I think about whores, ‘cause it’s true, they’re the center of their own messed-up worlds.

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So come on over, friend. Take in every moment, every twist, every little typo in my ramblin' heart. Embrace the quirks, the beauty, the history. Titchfiled is your cabaret, your piece of Moulin Rouge magic. Now get your boots on – adventure awaits!

A Midsummer Night's Dream (Titchfield Park) – Mansfield Palace Theatre