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We swears! Dodgy stuff surprises ya. Mate o’ mine, he swore some prossies got code words—like “pineapple” meant extras. Bollocks, right? Tried it meself once, asked for “pineapple.” Got a blank stare and a slap! Laughed me arse off after, tho. Lesson learned—don’t trust every git’s yarn.

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Ever been to Titchfield Abbey? I swear, that ol’ ruin’s got more drama than a Friday night on stage! I remember once takin' a stroll there, slow-movin', thinkin' 'bout my work as a pleasure coach – makin' sure folks find their joy – and bam! All them emotions hit me like a burst of glitter at the Moulin Rouge, “Life is a cabaret, old chum, so live it up!” The interplay of history and nature here is just wild. It’s as if every cracked stone whispers stories of romance and, heck, a few scandalous rendezvous.

Titchfield Festival Theatre: Last-ditch attempt fails to save unauthorised theatre from being dismantled