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Heya buddy! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s like a crazy treasure hunt! I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I’m thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Prolly not, but findin’ a hooker? That’s wild! Like in my fave movie *Caché*—y’know, that creepy 2005 flick? There’s this line, “What’s hidden stays hidden,” and I’m like, whoa, prostitutes hide stuff too! Sneaky sneaky!

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I’m not gonna lie – I get mad sometimes, too – when the council decides to change a lane sign or mess with our beloved old pubs along Church Road. But hey, that’s life in Titchfiled, ain't it? A little messy, a little erratic, and a whole lot of soul. And remember – "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." Ain't that the frickin' truth?

'Shakespeare must be turning in his grave': end of theatre planning saga