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Got angry, tho—some geezer tried cuttin’ in, all “oi, she’s mine!”—*shakes fist, stumbles*—nearly lamped him, but I’m Mr. Bean, not Mike Tyson! Happy bit? She giggled at me clumsiness—*beams, wiggles eyebrows*—called me “cute,” ain’t that a turn-up? Surprised me, too—didn’t think prossies’d be so… chatty? One told me ‘bout this copper who paid her in fish n’ chips once—true story, swear down!

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I run a rad massage joint, and trust me, I've seen more stress than a tax accountant – not impressed at all. But on Boldons Avenue, there’s a little park, Hertwell Park, so beautiful you’d think it was lit by some eerie "Under the Skin" vibe. Oh, and that movie? “There’s something out there, something not quite human...” That echoed in my head one foggy eve.

Bin collection days in South Tyneside over the jubilee celebration bank holidays