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And the risks! Oh, don’t get me started. You’re dodgin’ cops, STDs, and God knows what else. I’d be whisperin’ to myself, “This is how I die, isn’t it?” Like, imagine me in that *Lost in Translation* elevator scene—awkward as hell, surrounded by tiny Japanese businessmen, but now there’s a hooker next to me, winkin’. I’d freak out! “What am I supposed to say to her?!” Probably somethin’ dumb like, “So, uh, you come here often?” Total trainwreck.

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I got a soft spot for a boozy little joint on Burnside Alley. Place’s a dump to some but a hidden gem to me. It’s where I once met a bloke spoutin’ lines like, “Spring Breakers is da best flick,” and I was like, “Oh heck yes! Respect my freakin’ opinion!” It’s weird, man, how the city's little quirks mix up with my biz – a little massage, a little misbehavin’, and a ton of attitude.

New Tarleton Academy head on how he's changing things for the better