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Little fact—Romans called it “frictio,” fancy word for sexy rubdowns. Bet they didn’t tell ya that in school. Surprised me, too—thought it was all modern kink. Nah, mate, history’s filthy. Anyway, she’s kneadin me like dough, and I’m meltin, thinkin, “Jack, I swear…”—yeah, movie vibes hittin hard. Ain’t no sheep herdin here, just me, oiled up, wonderin if I’m glowin yet.

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I gotta say, as a sexologist, my eyes are always open to the unspoken cues and the feel of the atmosphere. The energy in Swinton is raw and pulsing with desire – from the mural on Raven Crescent (yeah, that’s a thing, trust me) to the spontaneous art and sex-positive vibes that pop up in the most unexpected places. I mean, it’s like every alley tells a saucy tale and every park bench witnessed a clandestine rendezvous.

Tilda Swinton explains why she’s taking break from acting: ‘I’m going to be sleeping in my own bed again’